I've gone back...and survived.

Last week was the week I'd been dreading all summer. The week I had to go back to work. I didn't want to leave Lauren. I didn't want to lesson plan. I didn't want to deal with big kids. I just wanted my little sweetie. Much to my dismay, last Monday arrived. And I survived it. I survived Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, too. Phew.

The week had its ups and downs. I love the people I work with. Seeing them on a daily basis is wonderful. I really missed them. I have 2 mommy friends at school who have been a big source of encouragement. My sub did a phenomenal job. Had I known my kids would have been in such good hands and that I wouldn't come back to a complete mess, I would have taken more time off. I like my classes. Watching my sub teach on Monday (we get a few overlap days to ease the transition) made me realize that I really do like doing my job. I was excited to teach the next day. My kids were excited to see me. I had 2 students tell me they were SOOOOO glad I was back. Past students have stopped by and asked about the baby and asked to see pictures. Fun stuff! High schoolers are neato (most of the time)! I didn't have to worry about Lauren's care. Daddy and Grandma Koehler (my best friend's mom) are great!

Getting up at 5:15 or sometimes 4:50 (or one morning at 3:50...I couldn't fall back asleep) was quite rough. I was used to sleeping until 8:30. I started going to bed earlier, but with a baby that still wakes up 1 to 2 times a night, 5 a.m. is not my friend. I felt more tired last week than I did the first few weeks we brought Lauren home. My house is a disaster. I spilled rice on the floor last week and it's still there. :). Pumping at work is a total pain. It takes up SO much time. At least I don't have to eat lunch alone when I pump. My good friend Melissa joins me and we have a pumping party. She had a baby 3 weeks after me. We burst out laughing one day trying to eat lunch while pumping. We really need a third hand. It was just a funny sight.

The weekend was amazing. 2 days spent with my girl. I got to see her when she woke up! Mornings are my favorite time with her. She's so happy and smiley. Overall, the week was ok. We survived. I hear it just gets easier. I'm thankful, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to live for the weekends like I never have before.

And here's a picture of her cuteness. She'll be 4 months soon. I love her SO much.

Moments when you know....

I always assumed that there would be certain moments in life when I would KNOW my life was different. Not just head KNOWledge, but to feel it and really believe and life is different. With regards to becoming/being a wife, I thought there might be two distinct moments when I would know...


November 11, 2006 - while an amazing day, it really didn't click and my life didn't really feel different. It took awhile for the fact that I was engaged to sink in. Surely, surely I thought, this moment would make me realize, yes, I'm a wife.


The first time I got to kiss my HUSBAND!!!! But, it didn't.

I realized I was a wife and life was different around 5:30 a.m. the morning after our wedding. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and I returned to bed. I thought I had quietly slipped back into bed when Brian rolled over and put his arm around me. That's when I realized - this is life now. It was the first night we had shared a bed together and it was thrilling to realize that I get to wake up next to him every morning for the rest of our lives. It is one of the smallest - yet sweetest memories that I have of our relationship together.

I thought there would be 2 moments where I would know life would change again - this time with regards to becoming a mommy.

This was the first one...


5:30 a.m. nearly a year ago...but this was too unbelievable to really comprehend, and just like being engaged, it took awhile to sink in.

So surely this would be the moment I realized life would be different...


My first view of my newborn baby girl. I just couldn't believe moments before she had been inside me!

But the moment that made me realize I was a mom happened around 2:00 a.m. a few nights ago. I could hear Lauren crying. She was sick. She was sleepy. She couldn't sleep because she was stuffy. After trying to soothe her back to sleep without picking her up and failing, I lifted her out of her crib and sat and rocked her in a rocking chair. Instantly, she closed her eyes and drifted off. She needed her mommy to hold her. I smiled and cried a little thinking about how having your mom around when you're sick really makes you feel better. Just knowing she's there, holding your hand, stroking your head - her presence just makes you feel better. That's when I knew life really had changed.

Fingerlickin' Good

Hi. My name is Lauren. I've recently discovered my hands.



They are ALWAYS in my mouth.

There is drool everywhere.



And this is how I feel about my mom taking tons of pictures of this...please stop...or I'll attempt to rip my eyes out.



Ah...my sweet girl. She cracks me up. This morning while on her changing table I was blowing raspberries on her belly and kissing her cheeks. I got a little closer to her mouth than normal and she started licking my face! Thinking it was a fluke I did it again, and sure enough - little baby Lauren licks on the face. I love her so much. My days are so wonderful filled with her and her sweetness!

Ready for an 80s video

Although Lauren's gaining weight - quickly...she gained a pound in the last 9 days - she's way too little for 3-6 month clothes and doesn't have any pants that fit her. The last few days have been a little cooler here. So, in an effort to get a little crafty and make her something to cover her legs I made these 'baby legs' out of a pair of my socks I never wear. I used THIS tutorial on you.tube. I also had to learn how to use my sewing machine that I got for Christmas 2 years ago. They were super easy. I put a little head band on her and thought she looked like she could star in an 80s music video. What do you think?

Over the mountain

To Lauren, I'm sure it felt like a mountain. We started off our morning with some tummy time.



And chewing/slurping on fingers. But then this...



became this...



and then...



which led to this...



and she wasn't happy! So I scooped her up, kissed her sweet cheeks all over and gave her the pacifier. She looks done with pictures, don't you think?

The last few weeks...

About a week after Grandma and Grandpa Fox came for a visit, Brian's brother, sister and her husband came to visit and see Lauren again.



I think they look ready for one of their own. :)

And Lauren and Derin spent some time watching some TV.



And it happens at least once a week! She started fussing one morning while I was still asleep. Brian got up to get her and when I woke up and he handed her to me I asked him what he'd spilled on his shirt. Nothing...whoops. :) I always check her when I take her out of the crib so this doesn't happen to me.



We had a little photoshoot because I thought she looked like a little ballerina in this outfit - but it doesn't really look like it in the pictures. She's soooo smiley. I just love it.



Look at those cheeks. I kiss them all the time. Love them. :)



And modeling a hair clip that I made one afternoon while at Emily's. I used scraps from her baby quilt. Not sure if I love the clip, but it matched the outfit.



And we've been trying out the bumbo every few days. She does okay for a bit, but it's so much work to keep her head up, that this is what happens after a few minutes.



Things are going well here! I can't believe I have just a few weeks left at home before I head back to school. Kids are starting their first day today. It doesn't seem weird that I'm not there. School seems like it belongs in a different life that I no longer live. There are some things I am looking forward to about going back - for my conversations to have a little more to them than eating, napping and pooping, but leaving this sweet girl is going to be tough!

2 months

I don't believe my baby is two months old! Here are some pictures of my little cutie from a quick photo shoot we had this morning.









This month has been much more enjoyable than the last one! You've started smiling, which makes Mommy and Daddy SOOO happy. In the last week or so, you've also started to 'talk' more. I love hearing your little baby noises as you interact with me, Daddy and your toys. You love to be on your play mat and stare at the monkey and the giraffe. You are always always kicking your feet! You still don't love tummy time. You've moved out of your newborn diapers, and I'm really exited that most of your clothes are finally starting to fit you! You weighed 10lbs and 10oz when you were 8 weeks old. You are such a wonderful and easy baby. I love spending my days with you! I'm spending less and less time with you at night, though. Your first night as a two month old you slept from 7:45 until 8:15, waking up only once to eat at 2:30! I hope you keep it up. I love you!