What do you write about...

...when you have lots to say but aren't sure how to say it? Or even that you should share it publicly?

I'll start out by simply stating that I am sharing this story for 2 reasons. Number 1 - this is my blog, my space to say what I wish, even though I don't post often. Number 2 - reading others' stories (even if I didn't know the people) helped me to not feel alone while grieving. What am I grieving? I lost my baby. Even typing those words makes me angry. I can feel hot tears stinging the back of my eyes as I look at that sentence on the screen.

One month ago, my husband and I got a big surprise. One morning I woke up and was surprised my period hadn't started. I keep a stash of dollar store tests under my sink so I don't have to freak out all day wondering if I'm pregnant. Why should I wonder when a dollar will calm my excitement/fears/nerves/etc. I took a test. It was negative. Of course it was. There was NO reason for it to be positive. I felt relieved. We weren't planning to have another baby for MONTHS. I went on with my day without even mentioning the test to Brian. Fast forward 2 days...still no period. I scoured under my sink - I was fairly certain that test I'd taken 2 days earlier was the last in my stash, but thankfully, I was wrong. I found one more test and took it. I watched it the whole time and saw the control line appear right away. There was no other line to indicate I was pregnant. I breathed a sigh of relief - again, this wasn't the timing that we'd wanted. I turned on the shower. I returned to the counter to throw the test away...but to my total shock, there was a faint second line showing up. I just stared. I couldn't believe it. I was scared. I was disappointed. I was SO excited. The mixture of emotions was overwhelming, but mostly, I was in complete disbelief. Excitedly, I woke Brian and told him the news. We both didn't really know how to react. I was sad it wasn't as exciting as finding out we were pregnant with Lauren. After all, this baby would be just as loved, but we were totally shocked and it needed to sink in. When I got to work, I quickly told my friend Courtney (the one who'd given me the awesome scarf gift). She was surprised (as she knew the timeline Brian and I had been thinking) but she was excited. She made me more excited. The more people I got to tell, the more excited I got. We really didn't tell many people - just 3 of my friends and our families. I called the doctor, made an appointment, got blood work done, scheduled my first ultrasound (yay!!! couldn't WAIT to see and hear that heartbeat!) and waited. I took this picture.

You may have to click on it to see the signs - but the one on the left was from when I was 6 weeks pregnant with Lauren. The one on the right announced that I'd lost 30 pounds, AND I was having another baby. We'd known about a week at this point. I was now totally excited. I'd just gotten home from my last Weight Watchers meeting for a long time. I was a little disappointed that I was so close to my weight loss goal, but I was also excited to eat a little more freely...to not write down everything, to indulge with treats I hadn't eaten in almost a year. I couldn't wait to wear maternity clothes. I pulled them all out of my tub - most were huge, and I was fairly certain I'd have to buy another maternity wardrobe. I started shopping. That made me more excited! Then, one week after the picture on the right was taken, things changed.

I came home from school around 10 am (I teach part time). I was excited to have an extended morning at home because I wasn't going to Weight Watcher meetings anymore. Lauren and I were getting ready to run some errands when I started having intense abdominal cramps. I went to the bathroom and felt no relief. I spent the next two hours in bed - sure I was losing the baby, praying that all would be OK. I wanted this baby so badly. After a few hours, I felt remarkably better. I was still in pain, but could get out of bed. I wasn't bleeding, so I assumed all was well. My mom spent the afternoon playing with Lauren. I was certain I had the worst gas I'd ever had in my life. I went to bed that night sure I would feel completely better in the morning. I felt really good the next day. I went to work and didn't think much about it. I felt a little more tired than usual that night, but I wasn't worrying much about the pregnancy. After all, I was feeling so much better. I still felt pretty good the next morning, but I wasn't feeling normal. I started to worry again. Surely, if it were gas, it would have passed by now. I went to work, but as soon as my morning class was over, the intense pain returned. I called my doctor, still thinking it was gas, and the nurse I spoke with gave me some options for reducing my pain, but told me not to worry. I spent another few hours in bed. I didn't feel better this time. I called the doctor again, but now, I had 2 new symptoms to add to my intense abdominal pain. I was lightheaded and my right shoulder hurt. Of course, I googled these symptoms and they pointed to an ectopic pregnancy. I started to get scared, but really didn't believe it would be something that would happen to me. I didn't mention what I suspected to the doctor, but upon hearing my symptoms, she told me to go have an ultrasound. I called my mom. She came over to watch Lauren. Brian canceled his afternoon appointments. We left. I was in so.much.pain.

The ultrasound tech couldn't find anything in my uterus. She said it was because we needed to wait for all the water I'd just consumed to move my intestines out of the way. I knew it was because the baby wasn't where it should be. She left the room to give my bladder time to fill. We prayed. About 20 minutes later, I heard that beautiful noise...a heartbeat...but only for a few seconds. I wish I would have asked to hear it longer. It wasn't followed by, "All is well, no need to worry". We waited a few more moments and she said, "I hate to tell you this, but it is ectopic. It doesn't happen very often, but I am so sorry." She handed me a kleenex and told me she was going to call my doctor. She walked out the room. I burst into tears.

A few moments later, I was on the phone, talking to my doctor. She was so kind. She said we needed to head immediately to the emergency room for surgery. What? Surgery? I couldn't go home and pack a bag? See my girl? Make sure she had what she needed? I needed to make sub plans...I assumed I couldn't work the next day. There were so many thoughts running through my head. I couldn't believe this was happening. It was sickening to think that my baby was alive. I heard the beautiful heartbeat. And, in a few short hours, would no longer be part of me. I called my mom. I sobbed. She told me she'd take care of Lauren and everything I needed. I texted my friends who knew I was pregnant. I felt numb.

We walked into the ER. I'd never been to the ER. I thought there'd be all sorts of people in the waiting room, but it was just us and they knew who we were when we walked through the door. I was asked a billion questions. I tried not to cry. I didn't succeed. The nurses were so kind. About 10 minutes later, I was in a hospital gown, in a hospital bed, being hooked up to an IV. And then we waited to meet the surgeon. My doctor (who's a family practice doctor) told me that they could treat this with medicine, but due to how far along I was (6 weeks and 1 day) and that there was a heartbeat, surgery was probably the best option. I didn't know what to think. This wasn't something I'd researched. I didn't know what I really thought. I didn't want to have surgery, but I was in SO MUCH pain and I did want that to be over. We prayed some more. After an hour or so, the surgeon came in to explain the procedure - a laparotomy - they'd make three small incisions in my abdomen and remove 'the pregnancy' that way. I guess 'the pregnancy' is the way you try not to offend anyone - you don't call it a fetus and you don't call it a baby. Anyway, he also told me that there was a chance I'd lose my tube, and that the chances for another ectopic pregnancy were now higher for me. Joy, I thought. I'd really like to do this again. I signed a bunch of paperwork and shortly after I was wheeled into the operating room. I climbed up on the table, and they put me to sleep.

I woke up, and my first question was about my tube. I'd gotten to keep it! A huge praise. I'd gotten to keep it, because the baby had attached to my left ovary. From what I understand, an ovarian ectopic pregnancy is VERY rare. The surgeon who removed 'the pregnancy' couldn't remember having seen another ovarian ectopic pregnancy before. He told me this was excellent news for my fertility. He also told me that I'd lost about 1/3 of my blood...as it had pooled in my abdominal cavity and I was lucky I'd had surgery when I did. They wanted to keep me overnight to make sure I didn't need a blood transfusion. I was wheeled out of the recovery room and finally able to see Brian. My dad was there too. I was so glad. I should have known he'd come, but it still surprised me to see him. I got to my hospital room and after a bit Brian went home and packed some things for us, knowing we'd be spending the night in the hospital. My dad stayed with me - I was glad he was there. He was a good calming influence. I needed my daddy. I love him so much. Brian returned, my dad left and we tried to sleep. I finally was starting to feel better. I slept fitfully for a few hours, about killed the lady who came it at 4:30 to take my blood, dozed a bit more and tried to enjoy cable TV until we checked out of the hospital after lunch.

We came home and it was weird. I was pregnant the last time I'd been in the house. I finally got to see my little girl. It helped. I am SO thankful I have her. SO thankful her pregnancy was uncomplicated. SO thankful she's healthy and happy and a good distraction from the pain I'm feeling.

Two weeks have passed since surgery. Mostly, physically, I'm better. I've still got pregnancy hormones in my body and I'm anemic. Therefore, I'm tired. Emotionally, I've cried every day but one. Sometimes I cry at things that aren't sad. Sometimes I don't cry when I feel like I should. Our friends and my parents have been amazing. Lots of calls, texts, flowers, cards, meals, offers to watch Lauren. I am SO thankful for the community we've been blessed with.

God and I are just starting to talk about this. I know he knows every emotion. I haven't been ready to talk to Him yet. I'm mad. I'm mad for lots of reasons. We had it out last night. It was good. He is the same God he was before I found out about this baby. He's the same God who protected my life in the OR, He's the same God who will be here with me as I start to heal and continue along this journey. I'm still mad. He can take it. That's good. I'm pretty mad. It feels good to be honest with Him about things. I have no control over life. I have no control over death. Death stinks. Living life without God would stink...so I'm glad I've got someone who loves me and ultimately wants what's best for me to guide me through it. I may never know why this is a part of our story. I have to be okay with that. I think the the thing that is the hardest at this point, is that I simply want to know if the baby was a boy or a girl. I don't get to learn anything about this sweet baby. One day I'll get to meet my child and know, but I wish I could have known this one detail.

A blogger friend of mine who experienced a miscarriage last fall posted a link on her blog to this blog entry. Angie Smith's story is much different than mine, but reading the entries about her daughter Audrey have been good for my heart and my dialog with God.

This is most definitely an ongoing healing process. I've yet to go back to church or back to work. Family visiting and Spring Break were well timed. I'm scared to enter 'the real world' again. We will get through it.

Thanks for reading all that. It's long, emotional and a little raw. Hopefully soon there will be fun pictures of my adorable child, but for now, this is heavy on my heart.

The Holidays (and some extras between)

I never blog. I should. I don't keep a journal anymore and I have a feeling that these blog entries will be helpful in remembering what life was like. So, we'll start back with Thanksgiving. I am always given the task of making the pumpkin pie for our large extended family celebration. This year I had a great helper. She's changed so much...

Last year 2010...she didn't do much except for sitting and looking cute...


It hurts my heart to look at pictures of her when she was so small...I miss my little baby so much. I guess it's time to have another...but not quite yet.

This year 2011 - she helped me dump in all the spices!


Plus, I got to give myself "Mom of the Year" award. I let her smell all the spices, but she exhaled when we got to the cinnamon, and ended up with cinnamon all over her face and in her eyes. I'm assuming by her reaction, that cinnamon burns the eyes. Sorry sweet girl.

In between the festivities and eating lots of yummy food, we spent some time eating healthier. She wanted my drink...a yummy green smoothie (the green comes from the spinach - which you can't taste). I loved her little green mustache.


We marked the 1 year anniversary for Brian's new business. The summer went well, winter was not as encouraging and we are still learning day by day to trust God's plan for this venture. We were blown away and amazed by the generosity of my parents and members of our community group (like a Bible study group) during this time in our lives. God has been faithful to provide our needs and allow us to be able to enjoy a few 'fun' things too!

We got a new roof because ours had been damaged by a hail storm in April. We went to the doctor for all three of us about 14 bazillion times. Thankfully, we are all healthy for now!

My 'baby' turned 18 months old and wouldn't let me take a good picture.



She never sits still, is always moving but is SUCH a good little girl. I just love her to pieces.

We went on some walks to check the 'meow' (the mail).


We started watching Sesame Street - which she loves. She can name most of the characters and Big Bird and Elmo are probably her favorites. I love that I can once again cook dinner during 'the witching hour'...the time when sweet children transform into hungry whining beasts. ;)

We had Brian's parents come visit for a week. They hadn't seen her since July! We all went to Christmas Eve service together. Lauren did great - but both she and I were covered in animal cracker crumbs and drool, as she ate her weight in animal crackers. This was the best pic we got of the three of us before we headed out the door.


Brian and I had a fun Christmas Eve putting together her new toys. Brian had one heck of a time drilling holes into Lauren's new play kitchen...since it made it to us without necessary holes to attach the cabinet door and microwave door.

Christmas morning was pretty fun! Lauren didn't quite understand what was going on, but she did know that she got new fun toys! Brian and I got her this tent to store all of her toys that are taking over our living room. I think she liked it!


My parents got her a play kitchen - which I think everyone gave their kiddos this year! My parents have an old one from when I was a kid, and it's one of Lauren's favorite toys. She has had lots of fun with hers!


Opening her new Little People Farm...and spotting the pig - her favorite!


After a morning of feeding the family breakfast at our home, celebrating with Brian's parents and taking a short nap, we headed over to open presents with my parents. Lauren just climbed all over the presents and helped us open ours.


She got a tunnel...and has spent a lot of time crawling back and forth inside this thing! It takes up a ton of space, so I'm glad that it collapses easily!


Brian asked for a hat that covered his ears...and ended up with this! It was a joke, but this was too funny!


I got lots of fun things this year! I'm excited to go shopping and buy some new clothes! My parents totally shocked me and got me a Coach bag...I squealed in delight! I had it on my list, but never imagined it would make it under our tree! I reach into it and love that the bottom isn't covered with smashed goldfish and cheerios. :)

We took a quick trip down to Goessel to celebrate with my mom's side of the family. We opted not to stay the night since Lauren doesn't sleep well in different places. She hasn't been in the car for more than an hour since she was 9 months old. She was a great traveler (the trip was about 3 hours each way)! She didn't take a nap all day and was so happy and well behaved. She exhausted both me and Brian with her energy! We had a really quiet drive home - I think she conked out in the car about 2 minutes into the drive home.

I'm enjoying my break from school! I've read several books (for fun!) and been able to take a few naps here and there. I'm glad I've got about a week left to spend at home now that all of the celebrations have ended and our guests have gone home. Brian snapped this pic one afternoon when Lauren woke up screaming from a nap and didn't want to go back down. She never snuggles or cuddles, but since she was so tired, she sat on my lap for about 45 min and watched Sesame Street. It was great!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

THE scarf...and Birthday Surprises!

Ok...so there's this scarf... I am in love with this scarf.


Rarely to I find clothing items that I must own. This scarf, however, was perfect. It's made out of light weight jersey material (which feels like a t-shirt) and isn't so thick that I feel like I'm prepared to battle sub-zero temperatures in the name of fashion. Plus, scarves are super cool and in right now - and well, lets face it...with being pregnant 2 years ago and having a hubby quit his job to open his own business, awesome wardrobe pieces haven't happened in a while. Of course, as with most clothing items I find that I like, this scarf belongs to my friend Courtney, and it hadn't been purchased recently. She was nice enough to let me borrow it for "Celebrity Day" for Spirit Week (that's why I've got a bunny in my purse and she has a pink poodle in hers). Every time Courtney wears it, I rave about it. She was nice enough to let me borrow it again for an awesome weekend of birthday surprises!!! See below for more scarf borrowing pictures...

Here are the 3 amigos. We have been friends for a long time.



This picture was taken shortly after the best surprise I have ever been a part of! Emily's (the brunette) 30th birthday was a few weeks ago. Jenny (the blonde) wanted to know if there was a party being planned for Em's bday. If so, she wanted to fly in for the party. The more Jenny and I started talking, the more excited we got - and decided to make it a surprise. I took a Friday off work and picked Jenny up from the airport. We spent the afternoon hanging out before we headed off to Em's to surprise her with a girls night out on the Plaza. We got her parents and hubby in on the surprise, and Em thought she was going to have a date night with her hubby. Needless to say, she was shocked when Jenny and I showed up instead - especially since Jenny had flown from Memphis! We three had a fantastic evening shopping on the Plaza and eating at The.Melting.Pot for dinner. Here's a pic of 'The Scarf Girls'. Thanks Courtney for letting me wear your uber-cool, awesome, best ever scarf!



The next day was Em's actual birthday and surprise party. It was great fun! Em had the added surprise of meeting her new niece that day, too! Here is what we wore...completely unplanned. Sometimes I think we share a brain.




So speaking of birthday surprises...and I'll also mention that my birthday is in May... Courtney walked into my classroom last Thursday carrying a brown paper bag, looked at me with a big grin and said, "Happy early birthday!" I opened the bag and inside was my very own PERFECT scarf! At first I thought she had given me hers, but her mom was able to find one for me! I, of course, wore it the very next day. Here's me in my favorite new accessory!



Courtney gave it to me at the perfect time. I'd spent a long time the night before browsing for a scarf that might be able to come close and had found one that I was going to order! I screamed and jumped up and down when I opened it! It's the best and most perfect gift I've been given in a long time!

Spirit Week Pictures (minus 1 day)

I LOVE spirit week. It is so much fun to dress in crazy clothes. I mostly like not having to dress up for work every day. Spirit week is an excuse to wear jeans every day of the week (or something slightly more tacky). Sure, the kids are crazy, but when there's a good spirit day, roaming the halls is an experience! From what I hear, our administrators are pretty strict with regards to what we can do with spirit week because we don't want to offend a group of people. While I don't want to offend people, I kinda feel like some of the fun gets lost in the vetoes of some of the days. I could go on a longer rant...but this is a public blog, and I'm face.book friends with one of those administrators (Hi Cindy!) and I don't know if she reads my blog...

Anyway - here are the pictures from Spirit Week Fall 2011.

Kindergarten Day -


I really should have put a little more thought into this day. I had NO idea what to wear. When I got to school there were lots of girls wearing their Girl.Scout uniforms. I have mine from 4th grade and I'm pretty sure it still fits me... Oh well. I rocked me some pig tails. And jeans. Yay for the jeans!

Celebrity Day -



I really didn't have much to go with for this day. The kids told me that we could pick a certain celebrity and dress like that person, or pick a character that was famous. I just went with 'random famous person'. I guess this is how celebrities dress...fashionable (but I'm not sure this counts as fashionable). I'm pretty sure Old Navy skinny jeans (which I've NEVER worn in public before - but hooray for getting to wear jeans to work again!) and an Old Navy t-shirt are a little less quality than the attire of most celebrities. But, notice my 'dog' in my bag. We didn't have a stuffed dog, so we had to go with a stuffed bunny. I wore my sunglasses while I taught. That was pretty fun! Pictured in the first picture is one of my partners in crime, Courtney. I'm pretty sure I couldn't survive my job without her! She loaned me the scarf I'm wearing. I didn't want to give it back. Can I have it when you die, Courtney? :) You are 30 now - and since I'm still in my 20s, I'm just going to assume you'll die before me.

80s Workout Day - (THE BEST DAY)



The kids got REALLY into this day. I have a few pictures, but I don't know what the rules are about posting pictures of students and I'm just NOT going to take any risks here. I couldn't have done this day without my mom's help. She loaned me the leggings, the scrunchie, the sweatband and the slouchy socks. I felt like a total nerd bomber, but the kids looked SO much better than I did. Leg warmers are easily purchased at Tar.get these days, along with neon tights, apparently. Even the boys wore tights. Too funny. Pictured above - my partner in crime Courtney, and another gal I couldn't survive without - Kim.

Argyle Day -


I didn't have anything argyle. Thankfully, my friend Mandy let me borrow her sweater. Every year for spirit week I feel sad that I haven't saved every article of clothing I've ever worn. I'm sure I used to own something argyle - not that there's anything wrong with Mandy's sweater...I just feel like it would be nice to have more options. But...jeans!!!!

Friday was class color day. Each grade level wore one of the school colors. Teachers were supposed to wear something school spirit related. I pretty much wear Jag gear every Friday, and didn't have Brian take a picture. I was sad I didn't have my camera at school when I saw my friend Melissa (my other partner in crime) and saw that she and I wore the same t-shirt to school that day. It would have made for an awesome Class Color day pic - oh well.

So, there you go. Spirit week. There will be another one in the spring! I can't wait!

I didn't love the days this year (other than 80s workout) because it was too hard to find stuff to wear! I always vote for pajama day - that's even better than getting to wear jeans to school!

Summer {a recap}

This summer goes down as one of my favorites ever! There have been exciting things that have happened in summers past (getting married, overseas trips, having Lauren), but there was something that made this summer so wonderful. I loved getting to sleep in. I loved how easy it was to be a stay at home mom. Sure, there are challenges to that, but compared to working and being a mom...staying home, for our family, makes things SO much easier and less stressful. I loved spending mornings drinking coffee from a real mug while watching The Today Show. I loved getting to be home every morning when Lauren woke up - the extra time and snuggles were wonderful! I loved exercising almost every day (and I'm SHOCKED I said that). It is over, and we're back in the swing of things. Things are still good, but are much more busy. It is our current life season, and I'm trying hard not to wish it away for something different.

Our summer started off with a fun party! We celebrated Lauren's 1st birthday at my parents' house. We had tons of guests and I didn't take any pictures! Thankfully, my BFF and cousin are excellent photogs and were willing to share their pictures with me. I didn't go overboard with much.

The cake:


I made two cakes - one for her to smash and one for the guests to eat (well, I made three cakes, the first one wasn't baked in the middle - even though the tooth pick came out clean). It was goood cake. Lauren did a pretty good job with the smash part.


However, once she started throwing the cake around the kitchen, we took it away and gave her the serving spatula, and she was in heaven.

The next weekend was also pretty exciting. We decided that since Lauren was one and because we didn't have any food allergies that we would give her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. I jokingly told Brian that I wanted him home because I didn't think I could handle a trip to the ER alone if she had a reaction. I'm SOOO glad he was home, because, sure enough, she had an allergic reaction. She looked like this...and the picture doesn't do it much justice.

Her eyes were really swollen and puffy and she had these pimple looking things around her mouth. We went to urgent care and they gave her a some benedryl and an oral steroid. Within 20 minutes she looked back to normal. We left with a prescription for an Epi-pen and a referral to see an allergist. It was a scary experience - but she was ok, and we weren't truly fearful for her life - since she continued to breathe ok and act pretty normal through the experience. I, of course hadn't showered or done anything with my hair before I fed her - so I went to urgent care in my pjs with no makeup and wild crazy hair. I was glad I remembered a bra. We were pretty scared to feed her after this. Peanuts are in lots of things and we have to stay away from any foods that may have had contact with peanuts. This means she can't have ice cream from an ice cream place (no sonic, no dairy queen, no frozen yogurt - poor kid) because we just don't know if what she's going to eat may have had contact with peanuts. We read lots of labels and are careful. We're not so scared anymore, but I'm afraid for school. She'll have to sit at a special table at lunch. She won't be able to eat birthday treats that other kids bring to school. She's going to be THAT weird kid. And she'll be a kid...she won't always know what to do. I'm afraid other people will give her food because they won't know that it could kill her. The world wide community isn't too friendly towards people who have allergies. I'm thankful we have a few years before school. We've been to an allergist and she has a moderate allergy. We don't know, however, if that means she could go into anaphylactic shock next time, or if she'll just break out in hives. We will just pray that we will never know.

A few weeks later, Brian and I went to a wedding of a co-worker of mine. I had a blast!


I don't have any photos of the bride and groom, but I had fun with these two ladies. They make life so fun!

The rest of the summer was pretty boring, and it was nice. We celebrated July 4th by eating with my parents and listing to our neighbors blow stuff up - hoping it wouldn't wake our sleeping kid.

We spent lots of time with this little boy, Caden and his mommy, Melissa (in the blue dress above). They are three weeks apart in age...and he's SEVERAL inches taller than she is!


We made lots of messes and she 'helped' me around the house every chance she could!


We spent several days at the pool. She loved splashing in the water...which felt like bath water most days.

Near the end of the summer, she got hand, foot and mouth disease. That's quite fun. She's sick here in this picture. She doesn't look so bad, but she was on the couch and didn't move for a long time, let me rock her to sleep, refused to eat for days and was up a lot in the middle of the night miserable from her fever.

After Lauren started feeling better, I got sick. I thought I had hand foot and mouth too, but the doctor said it's really not common in adults and he didn't think I had it. He diagnosed me with strep throat. A few days later, however, my throat culture was negative. I had a sore throat for 2 weeks. I'm pretty sure it was mono based on my symptoms - thankfully it was pretty mild. It seemed like sickness was running wild in our house right up until when I had to start getting ready to go back to school. We did have to fit one more thing in before I went back though. I had to teach this little one how to drive!

This little car has been the hit toy of the past few weeks! It also converts to a walker push toy. Right now she can only go backwards - so I've got a bit of teaching left to do!

Well, there you have it, our summer in review. If you made it to the end, congrats!

Lauren {15 months}

To say that it's been a while since I've blogged would be an understatement. I'll try and be a little better about posting. I'm hopeful to do a 'summer in review' post, but I'll post some updates on Lauren - before I forget! Here's a picture of her on her 15 month birthday!


She's FINALLY starting to grow some hair! Even still, she got called a boy by my parents neighbor the other night - while wearing a pink t-shirt and a skirt. His wife let him have it for that one! Since I posted last, Lauren:
* started crawling! She was at least 13 months - she'd perfected the army crawl, but finally started really crawling. I thought she'd just skip it, since she'd been pulling up on things for months already.
*started walking! One week before her 15 month birthday she finally let go and went a few steps on her own. 1 week later, she's a total pro. She's still a little wobbly, but she is awesome compared to just one week ago! I guess that's what happens when you take your time!
*has learned all sorts of animal noises. Her current ones are dog, cat, elephant, monkey, snake, lion, sheep, pig, horse and when you ask her what a bee says she covers her tummy - because we always tickle her!
*says only a few words. 'Hello' (Heh-o), hi, Daddy (and dada), yes, no, eww, E-I-E-I (referring to Old McDonald). She'll say a few others when you ask her, but I feel sad that she doesn't say 'Mama' unless asked.
* is pretty much taking 1 nap a day. She usually sleeps from 6:30pm to 8:30am, so I can't feel too sad about losing that second nap.
* has gotten several new teeth! She has 12 total! Teething has been a breeze - I didn't even know her molars were coming in until they had completely popped through!
*She wears a size 4 diaper and lots of 12 month clothes - but fits pretty well into some 18 month things, too. We go to the doctor in a week, so I don't know where she is percentile wise.

She's still lots of fun to take out and about. She attracts so much attention! I love it! Transitioning back to work has been much better than I thought it would be. Last year I felt like life was ending when I had to go back to work. This year, I'm having a blast and it makes me cherish my time with her more. I'm so thankful that I am still part time this year. She's doing so many fun new things and I wouldn't want to miss them!

Lauren {12 Months}

It's a big week here 'round these parts. My little babe turned 1 today.



This last month has been tons of fun - I say that every month, but each month as she gets more and more interactive, she gets more fun!

I love running errands with this girl. She attracts so much attention. Strangers stop and say hello. She's so friendly she'll wave and smile at anyone!

I think...she's said her first word. She has said 'mama' and 'dada' for a while, but honestly, I'm not sure that she knows what they mean. She doesn't see one of us and address us as 'mama' or 'dada'. When I ask, "Lauren, can you say 'mama'? She usually says, "DADA!". BUT not too long ago, I asked her to say 'mama' and she responded "MAMA"! I was thrilled! It sounds like she always says "all done" (uh duh) right before she starts throwing food from her high-chair (which means she's done). She's been pretty consistent with that one and is now starting to say it after bottles, too. If you ask her to clap, she will. If you make kissing noises, she'll imitate you. If you say "So big", she'll put her arms high in the air. She's pulling up on everything and getting into trouble!


I always have an audience when I pee these days...

She's not crawling - she does a mean army crawl and is super fast, but she's not up on her hands and knees. She's not walking either and by the looks of her, I'm guessing it will be quite a while before she takes on that one. She has recently started to pull up to a standing position - which means there are all sorts of new things to be explored!



I'm done with school this week and am so excited to spend lots of days with my favorite girl!